Tanpa mereka siapalah saya

Mengharungi hampir 2 bulan yang sangat perit takkan berhasil tanpa sokongan & doa mak ayah, keluarga & close friends. Diaorg yang banyak doakan supaya dikuatkan hati,banyak bagi kata semangat,banyak tolong mana-mana yang patut. Anyway,sayang korang & I dedicated this for you guys. I never planned to write & post this but I think I must as appreciation for what have to guys did for me for this whole healing process.

Kalau citer pasal mak ayah ni,biasalah kan bila diaorg over protective, always wanted to know what is actually happens to their child and there are the same to my parents as well. I remember one night when my mom called me just to check me up before my mom, dad, little brother and my aunt's family going to Sabah for holiday, I have a fight with her on the phone just because I didn't want to tell her what is actually happen with me and that guy but she insisted to know. Then, after she coming back to Bintulu, that was the time when I sit down & talk to both of my parents, asking for advise. During the talk, I feel so guilty and blessed on the same time because my mom always be there for me although I not a good daughter to her. My dad, as usually will always protect me as I'm the only daughter that he had and I know he just wanted a good guy to take care of me.

MOM..DAD..

 I know I'm not a good daughter to both of you but now I will try to be one. I will try to be there for both of you. I'm sorry for all wrongdoing that I do and sorry for be so coward to say this in front both of you. I really love both of you forever. Thank you for always praying the best for me.

My close friends..there are few of them but this two had been with me since this happen. ISKANDAR BIN IBRAHIM & DYGKU NURAYSYAH LEE BINTI AWG JIDEL

Sebenarnya diaorg ni ader something "ehem-ehem"..(faham-faham lah kan..hahaha). I know Aysyah for almost 10 years since I start working in this industry. For Iskandar, I know him for maybe 5-6 months, I guess but both of us are very click when we are together.

Aysyah..I think she is my lost sister. Kitaorg tahu aper yang masing-masing fikirkan without keluarkan aper-aper ayat pun, just by looking at each other face. She always be with me through thick and thin. Yes, both of us pernah tak bertegur with each other but that experience made us now. Dia selalu bagi nasihat, bagi support, bagi kata-kata semangat, always defend me with her heart. Dia pun pernah lalui waktu sukar and maybe that made her a strong women as she now.

Iskandar..my second Aysyah. Tak kisah melayan walaupun sampai 2,3 jam bergayut kat phone just to told him what should I do with this matters. Always give me support, always trying to protect me walaupun tak nampak sangat cara nyer. Will be my number one contact list when I feel terrible or I can't find that guy when he promised to contact me.

Korang..I love both of you and will always do. Thank you for everything that both of you done for me. Always be there for me..nangis-nangis pun layan jugak kan.. I always pray that your relationship will be to marriage & ke Jannah, In shaa Allah. Terima kasih sebab sampai sekarang still lagi pegang tangan Ayu and won't let me go. I really blessed that Allah meet us up & both of you be part of my life.

There are few names that I want to shout out here!

Nuur Hafiza binti Yatim, my SIL..

Makseh untuk sentiasa ada dengan kamek..membakar semangat kamek untuk terus redha & sabar dengan dugaan tok..

Rosmina binti Yaacob, my future SIL, in shaa Allah..

Makseh untuk kitak sebab sentiasa berik kata semangat dengan kakak masa kakak down..sentiasa doa untuk kakak juak..

Monica Ribi, Nor Ashikin bt Othman, Fifi Fazidah binti Suhaili 

Thank you walaupun jauh & jarang jumpa always tanyak kabar and be there for me. Always praying the best for me.

Abang Mohd Harris b Ahmad..

Terima kasih untuk nasihat, kata-kata positif, kata-kata semangat & always bring me back to track. Semoga Allah limpahkan kurnia & rahmatNya untuk kitak, Kak Shikin & boyfriend kecik kamek, Isa..Tq again abg harris!

Saya bersyukur walaupun dalam keadaan yang sangat perit, saya dikurniakan mak ayah, keluarga & sahabat-sahabat yang sangat baik & sentiasa ader masa susah & senang. This make me feel more blessed that ever and I always thank Allah for sending all of your to my life.  

Semoga sentiasa dirahmati Allah, dibalas kebaikan yang diberikan dengan 1000 kebaikan,semoga sentiasa bahagia disamping yang tersayang.. 

"No Matter Happens, Remain Attach to Allah"

Assalamualaikum & Morning...



 

Writing this post as early as 05:35 am is a bit unusual for me sebab saya jenis yang sangat blur di awal pagi..

 

Tajuk post tu pun rasa nyer ramai yang akan dapat hint isi kandungan post kan..well to be frank, I been heart broken for 3 times..all because of a person named GUY! Baru-baru ini saya dikecewakan lagi untuk kesekian kali nya..chewwwahhh ayat kan! hahahahaha...

 

To be exact, that guy proposed and talk to my dad that he want us to get married this year but unfortunately he cheated on me! (Best sgt kan..)

Didn't see each other for almost 2 months and there he goes...

I try really hard to keep this relationship since yelah kita perempuan ni bila sayang dengan someone we loved that person with all of our heart kan..

Trying figure things out (masa tu xtau lagi kenapa dia berubah 360 degree) kenapa hal ni boleh jadi, try to give him some space, try to talk to each other to find the solution but at the end of the day the things just don't work out..

 

After figured that he cheated on me, I made a decision (since he can't make up his mind..such a loser) I have to let him go although my heart will having a heart broken again..untuk kesekian kali nya. Well, tak kan nak mengharap lagi kan since he doesn't love me anymore. Of course I cry but I glad I have friends that always cheer me up.

 

But, I learnt a lot during this "dugaan".. always close to Allah..doa dikuatkan hati,diberikan ketenangan and menerima dugaan ini dengan hati yang terbuka. Maybe he is not the one..maybe he is not good enough for me as my parents always doa for me that I will meet someone that can be my imam, can be a good husband and a good father to my child (just like my dad of course). This "dugaan" also taught me one thing, no matter what happens, remain attach to Allah. Now, I trying to be a good daughter & a good muslim. Always looking for Him in good or bad..

 

Girls who facing heart broken or trying to fix something that you can't,

Before taking care of others feeling, please take care yours first. Others will never care about your feeling (except your closed one). If the guy you loved keep hurting, keep cheating on you leave him..find a better person. Heal yourself as you the one who lived up your life, not theirs. Don't try to hard to fixing something that can't be fixed. If he wanted to be with somebody else just let him be. Just keep in mind, maybe he is not the right one..keep searching and pray so that Allah will send you a better person..person who will appreciate you more,person who love you more, person who will taking care of you more..

 

"Allah takkan menguji umatNya melainkan mereka mampu untuk mengadapinya" - just remember this and In Shaa Allah you will be okay.